My name is Brian and this is my blog. Sounds so
cliché to read it in print, but I would be lying to say I wasn't excited. I
decided to write this to share my experience with and for those interested in
running and to help encourage me to drive on. I won't pretend to be an expert
in all things, but I will share my runs, my equipment, and my thoughts. I look
forward to sharing them and getting some great feedback.
Just a little about me I am 38 and short. I'm not totally new to the running world, growing up I had quite the mouth on me and often found myself falling back on the gift of running. I'm not sure how or why, but I was fast. I don't claim to be a Lewis or a Bolt, but as far as those around me if I wanted to get away I could. I can remember a few of my sisters boyfriends who gave chase and yet I remained unscathed. Running was fun for me, it was no pun intended my perfect escape.
In the 6th grade we ran a timed mile and I came out on top with a time of 6 22 believe. The time wasn't that great to me, but it was a school record and it stayed around for a while. I know it was nice to get, but for me I had never lost a race, so the idea that I set a school record was not really that exciting. I think the greatest thing about my run was that it was mine, and no one else could take it.
Through the years I took to doing things other than running and let my gift go, I took up smoking and eventually lost the love of the run and the desire to accomplish it. I saw people running and I would take myself back there, but I had let that part of me die long ago. Still I could fill it tugging at me and I always held onto that flicker of hope I would get it back.
As a truck driver I was worried that I would end up an unhealthy mess, but I had convinced myself that even though I smoked that was the only bad thing I did so I was OK. I never really had to sleep much when I drove, sleep was something I always did very little of and it never affected me in an adverse way(so I thought). In 2005 while pulling a load to Tennessee around Louisville KY, something didn't seem quite right, so I found a place to sleep. What happened next is still a blur and I suppose it always will be, but they say I had a seizure.
I remember waking up in an ambulance and wondering what happened and tried to escape. A well armed State Trooper helped convince me to take the ride so I complied. At the hospital I was in and out of reality, in fact I remember very little about any of it. The last thing I remember was stepping out of my truck to use the bathroom wearing only a pair of shorts. It was March 1st and a snowstorm was blowing. They said that someone saw me hanging off my steps, with snow covering me. They did call the police, but they thought maybe I was faking it. I can remember waking up and seeing a lady holding my hand and stroking my hair and smiling down at me. It only lasted a second, but it is one thing I remember well today. Eventually they never figured out why, where or how whatever happened, but I have learned to live with it.
My sisters husband had gotten into running and I was slowing dreaming about going back into the world of running myself. He would blog about it and I so wanted to join him and his daughters on their runs, but I wasn't ever really ready to give up my smoking. The thought of not smoking was foreign and unappealing and I thought it wasn't worth it.One year on my youngest daughters birthday I smoked my last. That year was 2010 and I was finally ready to run.
My first run after I quit didn't occur until around March. It was about 2 miles and I can still remember running by a funeral home thinking how fitting it was, as I was sure I was soon to be dead. I called my sister while collapsed on the floor in front of a fan shouting "Elizabeth I'm coming home" while she laughed on the other end. My lips and fingers were numb from the lack of oxygen and I can remember asking myself if I was meant to die after I had quit smoking!! My legs felt like they were going to fall off and the thought of running ever again terrified me, yet the next day again I ran.
My brother in law coached me and gave me tips along the way, he even provided me with my first official pairs of running shoes, how awesome was that. Around April that year we spent spring break at his house where he tried to kill me on a few runs. I went and ran with his running club on a 3 mile run and I thought how stupid was I! There were many different walks of life running with us young, old, men, and women. I was being passed by a lot of people and I was sure death was eminent! I managed to survive and left there with a new take on life, I could run again.
The runs were made up of run, walk, walk, walk, run but I was slowly getting better. Eventually I had mastered running a 5k about every other day, even adding a nice couple of hills in. I had found my run again, I found an enjoyment that I had lost long ago.
Even though I had found my love for running again, I couldn't quite grasp it so firmly that I gave it my all. I found myself running only once or twice a week and sometimes not even once. While I professed to love running, I lacked the drive. Even today I can't even begin to say why I didn't have that drive to commit to it every day or every other day. I know that while I truly loved it, it was never really one of my top priorities.
2012 was a wonderful running year for me, I ran and I ran. I was able to log a lot of miles, bought my own running shoes and wore them out! I was well on my way to running a half with my brother in law, when I got into a car wreck in August. This wreck wasn't that bad, so I thought, but as I ran my back let me know it wasn't OK. Complete and utter frustration set in. I was so mad that something I worked so hard for was now gone. I tried to run and I failed many times. I walked most of the way and eventually I gave up. My Dr. gave me a grim view of 3 years to be back where I was if ever. The best answer I got was maybe I'll be better. This was not the news I was looking for nor was it, good enough. I met a someone on Facebook (whom I'm still friends with) who has encouraged me throughout all this. I was doing OK at best, I still have the pain, but I have decided to deal and run. With the pain I was able to still put in 8 plus miles and enjoy them. I took ibuprofen after the runs and soaked and it helps.
Here we are today, with an ankle that is ready and fall temperatures that are prime running weather. This blog is designed to help me and others that read it to commit to their runs and their equipment. I aim to share my runs with you, the thrills, the pains, the gains, and the freedom. Tomorrows run will be one of a new beginning for me and I look forward to blogging again about this beautiful thing we call running.
Brian E. Felker
